Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I just called to say...

One of the many things that I've been dealing with over the past several weeks is the response of people I love to the news that our little Buggy is super special.  Usually there is an awkward silence followed by a sympathetic pat on the arm, and a statement like, "ohhhh I am so sorry..."
I'm not offended by that response at all.  People don't know what to say.  Shoot, I don't know what to say half the time, and I'm living this.  Typically what follows this apology is a "but."  Here is where things get interesting.  I've heard a lot of things, "but, you're great parents so what a blessing for your boy," or "but, if anyone can handle this you can," or "but, insert your favorite theology lesson here..."
Now, again I'm not offended by these responses.  In fact, I understand them, and actually recognize the truth in them.  However, there are days when I don't want to hear them.  There are times when I'm tired of hearing the same things over and over.  Probably at some point in time, I'll write a discourse on what to not say when people you love are grieving.  But, that's for another post.
What I want to talk about today is what people should say.  Or more specific what a person did say.  One of my dearest friends called me yesterday.  I missed the call and, and as I prepared for another awkward conversation with someone I love, I actually thought about not calling him back.  My desire to talk with an old friend eventually won out and I called. To my surprise there was no awkward conversation.  There was little talk about Buggy, unless I was the one who brought it up.  In fact, my friend's exact words to me were, "I just called to let you know that I love you. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I love you."  How amazing is that?
I guess my reason for posting this is to remind everyone that its okay with us if you don't feel like you have the right words.  Honestly you probably don't. Its okay if you can't think of a great lesson that God is teaching, or figure out the "plan" in all of this.  Honestly, you probably won't be able to, and even more honestly, I probably don't want to hear it.  Its okay if the only thing you can think to say is "Bobby, Lisa, I love you." Honestly, we love you too!
There is so much love in my life right now. So much! I am honored to be loved by you, and hope you know you are loved by me.  It is so amazing that my little boy is going to be covered in such a fuzzy blanket of love! And really isn't that every daddy's desire?


  1. Just got around to coming here and reading your posts, I'm a procrastinator! Thank you for being so honest and sharing all of this with us, I love reading blogs from old friends so I will add yours to my list! And Bobby (and Lisa and Lydia) I love you!

  2. Thanks for coming Shanny. Tell all of your friends. And we love you too!

  3. Bobby, I'm enjoying your posts. I guess since your friends with Rob on FB you know we were surprised by our Si having DS (as the pros on the internet abbreviate it. :) ) It's been a stressful time these 2 months, but we are getting into the groove of everything now. I can't wait to see pictures of Josiah. My favorite little characteristic on Si is his "gorilla toes" :) (that's probably not PC... don't repeat it.) I posted on my blog about how he has changed my perspective, though I'm not a writer... He has already taught us so much about our Father's Love for us. "He couldn't have been born in to a better family" was one quote we have gotten often. I appreciate that sentiment. I'm humbled by it also... but I feel, now, like we couldn't have gotten a more perfect baby and my 3 other kids, Rob and I haven't begun to feel the blessings that God has placed on us by entrusting us with him. I don't know what it's like to find out before and your anxiety and anticipation and how your feelings are so unknown right now, until you get him here and in your arms. We waited 3 days for the results to confirm Si and it was filled with anxiety, anticipation of something... we didn't know what exactly.... but when it was confirmed and we could look at him in the eyes and know how special he was... those feelings started to melt away and be replaced by normalcy. It got even better when we were able to take him home and we was just like any other baby. You and your wife are in my prayers.

  4. My dear friend. I love reading your words. I love hearing this amazing perspective on Josiahs arrival. And I love you and your sweet family. Sadly, I've probably said many of the things you don't want to hear. But I have no doubt that "I love you and I love Josiah already" is the truest of things I can say. Hugs from afar. Redd