One of the many things that I've been dealing with over the past several weeks is the response of people I love to the news that our little Buggy is super special. Usually there is an awkward silence followed by a sympathetic pat on the arm, and a statement like, "ohhhh I am so sorry..."
I'm not offended by that response at all. People don't know what to say. Shoot, I don't know what to say half the time, and I'm living this. Typically what follows this apology is a "but." Here is where things get interesting. I've heard a lot of things, "but, you're great parents so what a blessing for your boy," or "but, if anyone can handle this you can," or "but, insert your favorite theology lesson here..."
Now, again I'm not offended by these responses. In fact, I understand them, and actually recognize the truth in them. However, there are days when I don't want to hear them. There are times when I'm tired of hearing the same things over and over. Probably at some point in time, I'll write a discourse on what to not say when people you love are grieving. But, that's for another post.
What I want to talk about today is what people should say. Or more specific what a person did say. One of my dearest friends called me yesterday. I missed the call and, and as I prepared for another awkward conversation with someone I love, I actually thought about not calling him back. My desire to talk with an old friend eventually won out and I called. To my surprise there was no awkward conversation. There was little talk about Buggy, unless I was the one who brought it up. In fact, my friend's exact words to me were, "I just called to let you know that I love you. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I love you." How amazing is that?
I guess my reason for posting this is to remind everyone that its okay with us if you don't feel like you have the right words. Honestly you probably don't. Its okay if you can't think of a great lesson that God is teaching, or figure out the "plan" in all of this. Honestly, you probably won't be able to, and even more honestly, I probably don't want to hear it. Its okay if the only thing you can think to say is "Bobby, Lisa, I love you." Honestly, we love you too!
There is so much love in my life right now. So much! I am honored to be loved by you, and hope you know you are loved by me. It is so amazing that my little boy is going to be covered in such a fuzzy blanket of love! And really isn't that every daddy's desire?